World Cup Gymnastics Shanghai 07/07

However, they didn't rank well though, compared to the Chinese team, the hot favorites who practically won in every category: Jiang Yuyuan finished first on the Floor, whereas Pang Panpan and Alica Kozich were second ex-aequo; in parallel bars, Feng Zhe executed a nearly perfect program and finished first, before his compatriot Huang Xu, and the Korean Yoo Won Chul.

Truth be told, your devoted Shanghaiist reporter spent more time in the training room than watching the real competition: since we had access to the gymnasts, we took a very close look at those sexy sweaty athletes in underwear... Enjoy the slideshow!

    Par un chaud après-midi de Juillet 2006, j'ai recu ce mail (voir dessous). Comme cela faisait à peine un mois que j'étais arrivée à Shanghai, je rigolais doucement, mesurant l'écart entre moi, petite française à peine débarquée, pleine de manières et de politesse, et le laowai (l'étranger) habitant l'Empire du Milieu depuis au moins un an. Voici ce qu'il est écrit:

"You know when you have been in China way too long when:

1.       Ice cubes in beer actually makes it more cool and refreshing;

2.       You have a pet bird... which you walk;

3.       When you take a cab, you give play-by-play driving directions to the driver;

4.       You return to your home country, you start tao jia huan jia (bargaining) for everything;

5.       You have a pinky fingernail an inch long;

6.       You get your first case of bronchitis and you have never smoked a cigarette in your life;

7.       You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes;

8.       You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "Broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it "Fixed";

9.       You start to watch cctv9 and feel warm and comforted by the governments great work;

10.   You think Pizza Hut is high-class and worth queueing for;

11.   You throw your trash out the window of your house, your car or bus you are on;

12.   You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different;

13.   You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb;

14.   You look over people's shoulder to see what they are reading;

15.   You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue;

16.   You stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan your day;

17.   It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off;

18.   It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting;

19.   You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage while the plane is on final approach;

20.   You regard traffic signals, stop signs, and copy watch peddlers with equal disdain;

21.   You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "Up To You";

22.   When you go to the toilet you start bringing your own toilet paper;

23.   Your eating manners in restaurants are now totally shot. Elbows on tables and spitting food out onto your plate is now seen as being dead classy;

24.   You watch taxi drivers picking their noses whilst stuck in traffic. Instead of feeling disgusted, you actually admire along with them, the length and breadth of the bogie. [This is a lie actually]

25.   When you sit in the restaurant with your finger up your nose and stare at the laowai. Then you pull it out, inspect it, roll it into a ball and casually flick it onto the wall or the closest person's plate;

26.   You honk your horn at people because they are in your way as you drive down the sidewalk;

27.   You ride around on your bicycle ringing a bell for some unknown f***ing reason;

28.   When you wear nylon kneehighs with your best dress;

29.   When shopping at Carrefour some laowai catches you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what laowai's eat;

30.   You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags;

31.   When car accidents become a source of heartwarming humour;

32.   The footprints on the toilet seat are your own;

33.   When you are able to jump the queue because the idiot laowai left 2 centimeters between themselve and the person in front of them;

34.   You have learnt how to detect someone is in a hurry behind you, and now have the ability to not only walk very slowly but also grow eyes in the back of your head, so when they start to overtake on the right hand side, you automatically cut in and walk very slowly directly in front of them;

35.   You understand all the above listed references."

Avant de venir fin Juin 2006 faire mon stage, j'etais déjà allée en Chine 4 fois, donc ce n'était pas comme si j'étais née du dernier paquet de fangbian mian (nouilles instantanées). Mais restant au maximum deux mois à chaque fois (vacances d'été obligent), certaines habitudes n'avaient pas encore eu le temps de "s'enraciner" durablement...
Cela fait maintenant plus d'un an que je vis à Shanghai, et je pense avoir maintenant assez de "vécu" derrière moi pour proposer ma propre version complémentaire:

36. You are no longer surprised to see many Chinese people asleep at work, asleep in the street, in some unusual places such as inside a wheelbarrow;

37. You actually learnt to master the skill (see n°36) to fall asleep practically everywhere, and in the shortest amount of time: taking the taxi to work in the morning is just a pretence to sleep a bit more (and you even snore!); sleeping in a crowded bus is an easy business, as long as you make sure that, in a way or another, you keep hold on your bag; and finally, the hard sleepers in the train have never been more comfortable;

38. You cut the lines now, without hesitation;

39. When you are crossing the street, you yell at the cars that want to pass anyway, hit them, or even insult the uncivilized driver.

40. You grew used to the Chinese administration: it is slow, complicated, full of useless papers that they chop, chop, chop and that you have to sign, sign and sign again. And you know that when they start to show you something on the paper with their pen, you know that there is a problem with it/that you will have to come back an undefinite number of times/try to explain to the stubborn staff that there's no problem/you know that it is only the beggining of a serie of problems and bad luck, that make you hate China.